6/3/23 Quite possibly on my top 10 list of bad days. I call it a mini-meltdown. You see, although my mind has healed a lot since I left three years ago, my BODY is lagging way behind. My body is riddled in trauma. It is still in fight or flight mode, survival mode. I quite honestly haven’t figured out how to master this part of my healing journey from living in a narcissistic family cult for 25 years.
Please if there’s a take away from this, remember you are still alive, and getting stronger, and realizing day by day, your super power of kindness and love was used against you, to hurt you, but that doesn’t define you, it’s refining you, helping you to see how wonderful, thoughtful, kind, vulnerable and giving you are and it’s quite a super power! Trust me on this one, you’ll reach more hearts than the narcissist(s) you left.
That’s why I’m here, starting this blog, because I’m grieving the loss of my children and they’re still alive. I don’t know how to wrap my head around it. Maybe you can help me and others out there going through the same thing, and maybe we can help you. It’s my gut telling me there are many people going through this living hell too.
This site is under new construction. Stay tuned for more content.
Blogger-in-training
14 responses to “Our bodies remember – Blog post 1”
In some way, every journey through life is a grief-strewn path. These grief lessons are actually gifts. Terrible gifts that we unwrap and wish we could return but there is no sales receipt. There is no way to return it and now we own it. I feel your suffering and I wish I could make it all better but I am helpless to do so. I can only say that you will find peace. I am certain of that
Thank you for leaving a comment. I believe you are absolutely correct, this trial is a gift. I can’t wait to be on the other side of it. 🙂 It has been incredibly painful, I developed TMJ from grinding my teeth so bad from the stress. I’m still learning how to deal with my body’s response to the trauma.
May you always be kind and loving dear friend and may your children join you soon
thank you for leaving a comment. I have to keep loving, because love is all we have right?
It’s unimaginable pain…the loss of living children from your life. Staying strong is almost impossible and yet, here you are, strong as a Mother!!
Oh thank you! I could hug you but a comment back will have to suffice. Somedays I feel like crying on the floor in ball of sadness, but I can’t do that anymore because I am only rubbing my suffering in, when I should be moving forward.
This is beautiful! The truth will come out and eventually prevail! I think it’s amazing you have found the strength to write about you experience. It very well will help change others lives going through the same things
Thank you for leaving a comment. I agree the truth will prevail.
At least you gathered the strength to write about your experience. That is a great place to start. I applaud your courage.
Thank you Trina for leaving a comment. I hope you’ll come back. I have many people tell me this, that I am brave and courageous but I don’t see it or feel that way. I feel like I am just moving one foot in front of the other, doing what any mother would do, for her children.
Beautiful. Moved me to tears, having experienced something very similar…..would enjoy reading more and being part of a community of those of us who suffer the loss of the living 💔
Hi Jennifer, thanks for leaving a comment. I’m glad to connect! I haven’t figured out how to yet, but it’s on my list, to create a membership or something. 🙂 stay tuned.
I believe you are right. Many families experiencing this.
Yes I would agree to this! It seems I meet someone new every day, whether in person or online in zoom rooms, who are going through similar events. thanks for leaving a comment. Come back again.